The Experiment - Day 27

It's Day 27 of the Experiment where I must perform the tasks my 10-year-old daughter Rebecca assigns to me.

Yesterday went...hmmm. Well, it went - went by too quickly that is - and I didn't get to all the tasks. I did stick my hands in the earth. Initially, I felt silly squatting there with my hands plunged into a fallow garden bed. But I tried to think about all the things in the earth, all the creatures and plants whose energy had become the earth - how with my hands in the soil, I was connected with all that energy, clear down to the core of the earth. I imagined that energy helping me find my place and my path in this soup of energy and vibrating atoms.

I stayed in the garden and watered the beds for the cold crops - it's been very dry and the garden desperately needed a drink. My stomach was already churning with worries, so I thought that lingering out under the mild Autumn sun was going to feel good, but my guts kept roiling as I fretted about the tasks I was neglecting (especially my accounting chores), while watering.

I hate that. Why couldn't I just enjoy the moment and trust everything would be taken care of later?  I kept watering in an attempt to push back against the inner unrest - I did not want to let it win. I refused to let it interrupt the activity I was engaged in. The ball of unease in my belly rolled on, but I watered every bed until the job was done.

I did not go for a walk. I had a 3pm meeting with a potential client, and before that was determined to finish the accounting and some of the catch-up work that had eluded me all week. My finances had been hanging over my head all week like a pesky black cloud - I hesitated tallying the numbers because a part of me didn't want to know the status if it was bad. But I was stressing about not knowing anyway, so it made sense to get on with it - so I did. The result did not worsen or lessen my stress level, but at least the chore was behind me.


I also did not search further for my special place. Hopefully, this weekend will afford a few opportunities for that. I wanted to go up on the parkway this morning, but the girls negotiated for a trip tomorrow morning instead. Still I want to get out and do something - I feel restless.

Here's today's tasks:

1. Go for an easy walk around our house - a short loop is fine.
2. Peel 6 cloves of garlic for dinner tonight. Take your time!! Rebecca believes that Mother Nature created garlic to give us time while peeling it - to give us a chance to think and be taken away from work and worries. And, it also presents a delicious taste.
3. Find your special place. (Rebecca wrote "secret place", but scratched out "secret" and wrote "special".) I hope to eventually find both a special place and my secret place somewhere in the mountains

I'll let you know how I did tomorrow.

Only 4 days left! As The Experiment nears completion, I am starting to wonder if it has benefitted me. Am I the exact same stressed-out, beleaguered soul I was when I started this Experiment? Has there been a subtle shift? If so, could the shift have been more pronounced had I tried harder?

I jokingly say of myself that I often worry that I don't worry enough. Is The Experiment helping me find a respite from that fretful state?