I'm posting this resource as much for my own benefit as for anyone else!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Secrets of Extreme Savers
I'm posting this resource as much for my own benefit as for anyone else!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Stop Chasing Success. Seek Significance.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Moments of Pleasure
Back in the 1990s, Kate Bush recorded a song called "Moments of Pleasure". It's still one of my favorites. In the lyrics, she describes some of the simple, brief moments that gave her joy.
My moments of pleasure are spontaneous occasions that occur when I least expect them – when all the troubles of the world fall away and are replaced by intimate, authentic experiences that fall onto my shoulders like a warm blanket. These moments rarely last long, but are forever lodged in my memory. For me, these are the moments that make life worth living.
When times are difficult, I remind myself that no matter how dark things may seem, circumstances will eventually turn around and there will be more moments of pleasure before my time on earth is over. Lately, I've discovered that moments of pleasure seem to occur more frequently the more I pay attention and live in the present.
We plan holidays, celebrations and vacations in the hopes that they will be filled with such experiences. Sometimes, these special moments coincide with these planned occasions. More often, these special moments become more elusive the more we try to plan for them. So I gave up on planning for them years ago, and simply trust that they will come when they are ready.
Here's a couple of noteworthy moments of pleasure from my memory banks:
My moments of pleasure are spontaneous occasions that occur when I least expect them – when all the troubles of the world fall away and are replaced by intimate, authentic experiences that fall onto my shoulders like a warm blanket. These moments rarely last long, but are forever lodged in my memory. For me, these are the moments that make life worth living.
When times are difficult, I remind myself that no matter how dark things may seem, circumstances will eventually turn around and there will be more moments of pleasure before my time on earth is over. Lately, I've discovered that moments of pleasure seem to occur more frequently the more I pay attention and live in the present.
We plan holidays, celebrations and vacations in the hopes that they will be filled with such experiences. Sometimes, these special moments coincide with these planned occasions. More often, these special moments become more elusive the more we try to plan for them. So I gave up on planning for them years ago, and simply trust that they will come when they are ready.
Here's a couple of noteworthy moments of pleasure from my memory banks:
- In my first grade classroom one afternoon, I found myself staring at my hands, marveling at the fact that they belonged to me and I controlled their movements. It was as if I knew that I was a being who had been around a lot longer than my 6 years on earth, but was spending this particular period of time inhabiting a human body. I felt grateful to be granted this time within this wondrous physical body. I kept repeating to myself with joy, "I am ME, I am ME!"
- In the late 1970s, I was driving through Calabasas, California with Kelly, the girl I was dating at the time. The Neil Young song "Comes A Time" started playing on the radio and we both spontaneously starting singing along together in harmony. For those few minutes, everything around us seemed to be in harmony. We only dated a short while, but to this day I am grateful to Kelly for being part of that moment.
- When I had been playing the fiddle for about 6 months, I felt a wave of emotion wash over me one day as I played, and began to cry. It was as if the action of making music with the fiddle (albeit not very well at that point), was releasing profound feelings that had been long hidden deep within me. I gazed at the fiddle, and knew it was about to take me on many amazing journeys. (And in fact, Appalachian fiddling lead me to leave Los Angeles and move to Asheville, NC, where I met my fiancée Beth and her daughter Rebecca.)
- After spending an amazing week in Northern California at a magical folk music camp in a redwood forest, I spent an afternoon lingering in the town of Mendocino. I climbed down from the headlands onto the rocks on the edge of the ocean, and sat intently watching thousands of small dark-umber-colored crabs scurrying about, making bubbly clicking sounds with their mouths. I was so still, the crabs came right up to me. An intense sensation of belonging and self acceptance washed over me.
- While I was wrangling with the frustrations of the bankruptcy process, I broke away from my computer and sat fuming on the front porch. While in the midst of my pity party, I looked up and noticed Beth working away in the vegetable garden below. As I watched the love of my life tend our garden, my angst melted away. I heaved a great sigh and realized that everything was going to be alright.
- A few weeks ago, I was working on the computer as daughter Rebecca read a Harry Potter novel on the futon across the room. She was so immersed in her book, she didn't notice as I watched her for probably ten or fifteen minutes. I became focused on her gestures and facial expressions, and in that moment, it was as if I could visualize her as a timeless being, and could picture her in every phase of her life, from young to old, simultaneously. I knew I would love her throughout every phase. She finally noticed I was looking when I quietly picked up my camera and took a few photos to commemorate the moment.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Fiscal Independence Day?
This article from AlterNet.org does a great job of expressing the challenges we need to overcome if we hope to break the bonds of the financial tyranny that plagues our society and transform ourselves into a nation that places people ahead of profit.
Has The American Dream Become Our Nightmare?
by Mary Sykes Wylie
The time is ripe for us to rethink some of our deepest beliefs about the way this country should work, and how we should live our lives.
by Mary Sykes Wylie
The time is ripe for us to rethink some of our deepest beliefs about the way this country should work, and how we should live our lives.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Connection Reflection
One of the greatest challenges we face as we travel the world in these vehicles of flesh and bone is that it is easy – too easy – to feel separate from every other being or thing that surrounds us. That is my personal definition of hell: when we forget that we are connected to all beings, all things. Conversely, I think heaven happens when we remember that glorious interconnection.
One of the biggest problem with the economic downturn is that it has created an unfathomable number of disconnects: people are being disconnected from their jobs, disconnected from their homes, disconnected from the wealth and security built throughout their careers. And when families and couples face economic hardship, they often disconnect from each other.
As I've mentioned before, when people lose their fortunes, however big or small, they often experience a sense of profound shame. That shame causes people to disconnect from the world and withdraw to a quiet corner where nobody can see what has happened to them. I am certainly guilty of doing just that.
It's easy to give in to the impulse to disconnect, especially due to the societal shifts that have occurred during the last few generations. Somewhere in the middle of the 20th century, we became the "Me Generation". I think it culminated right around the time George W. Bush was defending tax cuts for the rich by saying, "It's YOUR money! You should keep it". Those in control wanted to defuse the power that is created when people band together collectively for a common goal. They wanted us to believe that there were people different from us who were trying to steal what we had worked so hard to earn, and that we needed to cling to our own personal assets and distrust collectivism. It was a ruse that hurt the interests and needs of the common American – and unfortunately, it worked.
In these challenging economic times, we need to band together more than ever. Sadly, many of us have forgotten how.
A few generations ago, we lived in our front yards and on our front porches where we could easily interact with our neighbors. Now, safely ensconced in menacing SUVs, we drive into our homes from the back, or quickly pull our car into the garage and close the automatic door. The modern home design is set up like an island, separated from our neighbors, who in turn separate themselves from us. We grab our money from ATMs, we buy online, and automate our lives in ways that severely limit our interaction with other humans.
Every day, it becomes more and more apparent to me that the only way we will survive as a society is to find ways to reconnect.
First, we must start by reconnecting with ourselves. Between TV, internet, and cell phones that have evolved into mini portable computers, we are constantly bombarded with distractions that connect us to everything but our own selves! I have chosen meditation, yoga and journaling as a way to turn off the world for a little while each day. I seek out quiet moments when I can simply sit and think and be. You may find other techniques that work better for you, but I hope you'll find some way to take at least a few minutes each day to turn off the world and just listen to yourself.
Everything grows outward from your personal reconnect. Find ways to reconnect with your family. Start with one evening a week, and turn off all the electronic distraction devices. Spend time together. Play a game, talk, go for a family walk under the trees, eat a meal together.
From family, move toward a greater connection with your community. Find organizations that can help you while also allowing you to help others in need. Find groups that share common goals and dreams. If you can't find a group that suits your tastes and inclinations, create one!
This is the best time to make the shift toward connection, because one of the blessings the economic downturn has given many of is the gift of extra time. Much of my career, I worked, 60-, 70-, even 80-hour weeks. Nowadays, I could categorize my career as a part-time affair, but I've downsized my lifestyle and I'm OK with it. Now that I'm in my 50s, I regard time as more precious than money, and I want to spend it wisely.
Be generous with your time. Be generous with yourself. Use some of your new-found spare time to connect with others. It will help you through your challenges - and it will help those around you, too.
“From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that we are here for the sake of each other - above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” – Albert Einstein
Saturday, May 22, 2010
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